The Darkness and the Light
by fallenstar1313
Summary: The dark and the light. The bad and the good. Nothing is purely evil, just as nothing is purely good. Adrian is consumed by the darkness. Until he meets another girl, someone who shouldn't be living. Can they save each other from evil's grasp or will they both perish?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1:**

** Author's Note: This is my first fanfic ever. Sorry if there's a couple of grammatical and spelling mistakes. Enjoy. Also, please review, especially with constructive criticism. Thanks. :)**

**Oh and this is set after Last Sacrifice. This is from a girl Strigoi's point of view...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy.**

I'm 19 years old but I've lived 313 years.

Three centuries. And three lifetimes, give or take.

I've seen life enter this world, and also death conquer the remnants of a soul. I've witnessed indescribable joy, but also incomprehensible cruelty. I'm devastated to admit I've killed innocents, simply out of boredom and need. But I've also saved countless lives from the grasp of evil. It doesn't make me an angel, but I'm definitely not the devil. I've both experienced and lived every action and emotion that dwell in this world, except love.

I've been unable to love for so long, it's a foreign concept to me. The dictionary defines love as "an intense feeling of deep affection." But how can I understand what love is when I've never even felt affection?

You see, my current state disables my ability to love. I'm far from proud to announce I'm a Strigoi, a supposedly heartless killing machine always scheming for ways to take over the world. Yes I'm a vampire and I drink blood from Moroi, dhampirs, and the occasional human. I kill my meals. You could say I'm an abomination, a creation gone wrong.

I was once a Moroi born from a prestigious family. I was an innocent little girl, one who had hardly seen the world, much less been exposed to its dark secrets and twisted truths. I had a satisfying life planned ahead. But I could've never foreseen my turning into this undead dead state.

On one forebidding night, I was preyed upon by one of those creatures. I had ditched my guardians as I had simply wanted a night of fun. Wandering around the deserted alleys with my best friend, I realized too late the danger. Two Strigoi rushed upon us. Without our guardians, we were defenseless. One of the Strigoi bit me and I was lost in the ectasy of the bite. He drank, and my grasp on consciousness slowly faded. My last moment as a Moroi was glimpsing my best friend suffering the same fate as me. Then, my eyes closed of their own consent.

I woke up hours later to the sounds of a forest. My senses were enhanced and I discovered another side of the night. The darkest shadows held no mystery. The tallest trees were easily climbable. The night wasn't the same anymore, and neither was I. The Strigoi who changed me was named Jake. He taught me the ropes of this world. Power was earned through bloodshed and was easily transferred. Strength meant everything. Mercy was nonexistent, and showing mercy signaled weakness. Jake was my cane, until I grew tired of him and killed him.

There is a specific person I originally wanted as my partner in crime in this life, just like in my last life. I combed the world for that someone, looked under every rock and leaf. I even dispatched some of my followers to search for them. It was all to no avail. Either the one I was hunting for was an expert hider, or they simply didn't live in this world anymore. I got over my disappointment. I didn't miss that person, for Strigoi were incapable of love, and you can't miss someone if you didn't care for them. I had simply wanted the person to help and share with me in my conquest. That never happened, as I never saw my best friend again.

I've always been different, one of a kind, even after I was awakened into this horrid state. People say Strigoi are unable to change. They must always kill and never experience any good feelings. Beauty is lost to them, and with beauty, happiness, and the ability to love. They're stuck being soulless monsters ready to tip the universal balanced scale between good and bad. I've proven those people wrong.

Over the course of my ridiculously long lifetime, I've slowly began to gain my soul back. I don't know how it was possible, but I did. Slowly, I began to open my eyes for the first time in a long while and glimpse the beauty that surrounds me. I was oblivious to its breathtaking sight, but now I am no longer. I've recaptured a tiny fraction of my soul, enough to see the errors of my ways and the destruction I've left in my wake. I'm filled with remorse of my actions and the lives they cost. I know I couldn't control the Strigoi part of me from bearing its ugly teeth, actually, fangs, but I still hate myself for what I've done. I've ceased to kill my meal, merely take enough blood to sustain me and let the person go. Sometimes, rarely, I can even catch a fleeting glimpse of what happiness feels like. But the one emotion lost to me is love.

I'm tired of living, of life and its endless, monotone cycle. No longer do I want to murder out of cold blood. I question life and why I'm cannot love. Words cannot express how much I despise being a Strigoi. I hate having all those good emotions being constantly kept just out of my reach. I want life to be more than what I have.

I want to truly live.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

**Author's Note: Did you like my first chapter? Interesting parts will be coming soon. Please review! ^_^**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy.**

I've heard rumors, whispers of this impossibility becoming a possibility. There has never been any evidence, so I don't dare hope.

They say it has already been done. Not once, but three times. The rumors spread like wildfire among my kind, causing uproar wherever they spread. But with Strigoi, they could easily be lies, proof that Strigoi must destroy the Moroi and dhampirs before they destroy us. It's like an everlasting war with no foreseeable ending. Neither side can win.

I used to side with the darkness, where all Strigoi rightfully belong. Now, I'm not so sure. I can finally see past the bloodlust that dominated my mind. Instead, I am divided. The darkness doesn't have such a tight grip on me. Not anymore. But the light doesn't exactly suit me. I am unique, a monster who doesn't want to be a monster. Hopefully, I won't be one for much longer.

Only one way to know if the rumors are truthful—I must find out for myself.

* * *

The wind feels good blowing through my hair. I run with the unnatural speed and grace that marks a predator. I feel invincible. With this speed, I might be able to get to the Royal Court in under an hour. At least being a Strigoi is good for something.

Surprisingly, I have never seen the Court before. I had no reason to. It had to have untouchable, impossible to get through security since the queen and a majority of the royal families lived there. To try and attack, no matter the number of Strigoi, would be a suicide attempt.

The Royal Court is grander than I imagined, although I can only see the entrance. A large, ornate gate is an unnecessary, but beautiful feature. Exquisite flowers are in full bloom; it is spring after all. Even I, a creature of the darkness, had to appreciate their beauty. There is even topiary with twelve bushes trimmed into symbols representing each of the twelve royal families. To top it off, a long, winding driveway welcomed visitors and gave them a full view of the entire entrance, a breathtaking view.

It's beauty isn't why I am here, although I admit I was curious about where the Moroi elite lives. Supposedly, two of the miracle workers are within the Court. Gifted with Spirit, they have the ability to strip us of our powers and revoke our godlike state. To the rest of my kind, that is a fate worse than death. But not me. I do not want the power I possess, not if I must survive as part of the darkness. I am not afraid of losing my Strigoi status. In fact, that's the reason why I seek their help.

This is proving to be more difficult than I expected. A tall fence encloses the Court like a fortress. It is a hopeless obstacle to overcome. I plan out several strategies in my mind. Fighting the guardians would be futile if I want to live. Also, I don't want to kill anyone. It would not help me at all if I wish to meet one of the spirit users. If I somehow, miraculously, manage to knock all the guardians out, I will not be able to pass through the wards. I cannot make it into Court without capture. In fact, if I try anything capture is inevitable. Therefore, I must commit to my last resort.

I slowly inch towards the entrance. I moved cautiously, with both my hands raised in the universal gesture of surrender. I don't want to be perceived as a threat when I'm seen.

A sharp gasp and the rustle of hands toward stakes tells me I have been seen.

The three guardians directly in front of me were instantly on alert. They watch me curiously and warily, ready for the attack they were sure I was going to attempt. One of them called for backup. They believed I was a distraction to weaken their force before a band of Strigoi descended upon them. I can't blame them. Once, I had done that elsewhere.

The sandy-blonde guy swipes at me. I jump back. He throws a punch, then a kick, hoping to catch me by surprise. He doesn't. I block them all. 313 years of living had taught me a lot about fighting.

The other two circles me. All three of them want to kill me and get it over with already. I need to say something before I wind up dead.

"I came here to surrender. I mean no harm. My mission here is to ask one of the spirit users in the Court to transform me back into a Moroi," I explain.

"Why should we trust you? How do we know you're not planning to kill any of us?" the sandy-haired guardian questions. Yeah, we don't have the best reputations.

By this time, five more guardians show up ready to take me down. I am completely surrounded. It is now eight to one. The odds are not in my favor. Another guardian, this time a black haired one, strikes out at me. Against all my instincts and urges, I refuse to attack, but merely, block all their advances. I had to show them I was harmless.

"You don't," I reply. Oh man that is not a good answer. "You have to trust me. I'm not going to fight back."

With that, I sit down, leaving myself completely defenseless and hoping it isn't my fatal mistake.

"No Strigoi has ever surrendered. There's no proof you would cooperate. You're still a threat," one of the backups says.

I have no idea how to respond.

I can tell they are completely unsure as to how to proceed. This is the first in history that a Strigoi has ever wanted to be changed. Protocol says I had to be killed, but they are reluctant to murder someone who seems innocent.

Their attacks stopped, but their stakes still remain out, indicating they would not hesitate to take me down if I make any rash moves.

"Eddie, what do we do now?" a guardian asks.

The sandy-haired one, Eddie, seems conflicted. "I don't know Kyle. She seems to want to change, and we can't deny her the opportunity. So many lives have already been lost. We can't lose another one if we don't have to. It would be cruel to murder someone not a threat to us."

To me he says, "We're going to bring you to jail until we can figure out what to do. Try to attack and we will kill you. Understood?"

I nod. This is a better outcome than I had thought. I'm going to die, at least, not right now.

Eddie steps forward and grabs one of my arms. Another guardian does the same to my other arm. The other six people surround me, stakes at the ready.

"You've got either a lot of guts or a death wish to be comming here," Eddie tels me.

"I know. But I'm willing to take the chance," I reply honestly.

"This should be impossible for Strigoi to feel this way," he muses.

Again, I nodd.

"What's your name?" Eddie asks.

"Alyssa Tiffany Abigail Dragomir."

To say they are shocked would be an understatement.

**Review! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

**Author's Note: I appologize in advanced for the tiny bit of cursing. This is Adrian's POV, and he does cuss. Read and review, please!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy.**

**Adrian's POV:**

I drink heavily. The music is loud; the bar is crowded. Scantily dressed girls prance around, just begging for attention. Basically, my idea of a good time.

Not that I am enjoying myself. The alcohol simply isn't working; I'm even as drunk as I'd like to be. I downed drink after drink, but still haven't been able to escape the nightmare that is my reality. Hell, I've even hooked up with a few girls as distractions. I gulp down another drink, then glance idly aroud the club. Nothing captures my interest. I've been like this the entire past week, reverting to the old me, the one everyone labeled as just another flippant, arrogant, egotistical, useless, player, drunken royal Moroi.

My guardians are alert nearby. Lissa, being the Queen, apparently had the power to assign guardians, so she sent two of them to tail me, making sure I don't do anything crazy but also disrupting my privacy. I've tried shaking them off, but it was like trying to lose your head. Undo-able. Whatever. It's not like they're going to stop me from doing what I want.

I move onto the dance floor, and the guardians rearranges themselves facing me. A couple of beautiful girls swarm towards me. Ahhh... Entertainment. One caught my eye. She had the same hair color and length, though not as silky, as Ro-.

Thinking the name was like a bucket of ice splashed onto me. I shook my head, trying to expel her image from my mind. She used me like a tissue, then threw me away. The whole time I loved her, she loved Dimitri. She even cheated on me with him. Damn love triangles.

When we were together, she made me lay off the alcohol. She brought out the best in me. As much as I wanted to hate her for shattering my heart, I couldn't. I'm just setting myself up for more heartbreak. And for some stupid reason, a part of me I still wanted to stay reformed, to prove to her I can change, to give her one more reason to stay. To prove to her I still love her. But that side of me was easy to override. She is the reason for my indulgences lately, but now even alcohol doesn't mute my emotions.

However, I don't feel like dancing anymore. I flash the girls around me a smile, then make some random excuse that I had to leave. I motion towards my guardians and together we step out of the club.

It is nighttime outside, just at the verge of sunrise. Huh. Apparently I spent the entire Vampire day in the club. Time obviously flies when you're partying. I groan. A killer headache was pounding the inside of my head into mush. Maybe I underestimated how drunk I am.

"Lord Ivashkov, are you feeling all right? Do you need to visit the clinic? You drank a lot today," a guardian questions me. Did I mention I don't need babysitters?

"I'm fine. I've been through worse. Right now I just want to sleep it off," I reply. I really don't care what happens to me.

With that said, I stalk off in the direction of my residence. I can't wait to go lie down in my bed and leave behind this world of sorrow and pain.

"Wait, Lord Ivashkov. The Queen sent a message for you to meet her. She says it's urgent," the annoying guardian informs me.

"Whatever she wants can wait. I'm going to bed, and that's final."

* * *

**Alyssa's POV:**

They take down the wards to let me in. I am shoved roughly. The restraining hands around me tighten tenfold. It really hurt, which I infer is their purpose. I cringe internally at the pain, but show no emotion on my face. There is no way I am going to grant them the satisfaction of seeing me in pain.

Unfortunately, it is the Vampire daytime. I have forgotten they were awake throughout the night. I, of course, live by their schedule, for no Strigoi is immune to the sun. But our daytime means more people wandering around, more people to ogle at me.

If I didn't know any better, I would have thought I am a plague or contamination from the looks people give me. Wherever I pass, whispers trail. Thankfully, the the jail is nearby. I am hustled inside and thrown into a dungeon-like cell. Eddie, after making sure the remaining seven guardians would be able to incapacitate me, should I act out, leaves to deliver the news of my arrival to the Queen.

Things go downhill from there. I don't think the remaining seven could ever like me. A few ignore me as if I am air and I am fine with that. It is three of them that I really hate. They sneer and taunt me. One of them actually spit at me, which I dodged. And they are guardians, _guardians_. Unbelievable.

There would always be people who hate me because I am different, whether they are Strigoi or Moroi, dhampirs or humans. People who are afraid of the unknown and mask their emotions with hatred. There is no doubt these three are a couple of those type of people. They take mean to a whole new level.

I tune them out and sit down on the tiny cot. Maybe this won't work, and the Queen will immediately request me to be killed. Maybe they will use me as an experiment to test out what other ways Strigoi could die from. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Oh the possibilities. By now I have deluded myself into thinking that there is no way this will end well for me.

Maybe this is a mistake to come here. The rumors are probably nothing more than rumors. Even if they are true, why on Earth would someone go through all that trouble just to change me? What have I gotten myself into?

* * *

**Adrian's POV:**

I wake up to darkness and a lingering headache. I'm getting out of practice will alcohol consumption. Now that is a nightmare.

A knock on the door interrupts my thoughts. With a yawn I throw on some clothes and open the door. It is that damn guardian. Why doesn't Lissa understand I don't need any guardians inside Court?

I ask him flatly, "What do you want?"

"I'm sorry to interrupt your sleep, Lord, but the Queen requests your immediate presence."

Lissa just won't stop bothering me. I know it's really nice of her to watch out for me, especially after I blew up on her best friend, but I am getting really annoyed.

"Tell her I'll be there soon."

I take a long shower to prolong the wait in an attempt to irritate Liss, then go outside to grab some breakfast. As I sit down to enjoy my food, I hear some interesting gossip.

"... a Strigoi inside Court..."

"I can't believe they would allow a monster in..."

"... wonder why..."

"... a danger to society."

Interesting. They managed to somehow have captured a Strigoi alive. Why would they? Hmm... Maybe Lissa knows something about this. Suddenly I am in a hurry to go see her. This is quite a scandal.

I walk across Court towards the royal housing where Lissa's aura was. The captured Strigoi is extremely popular gossip. By the time I reach Lissa's room, I had gathered much more information about the Strigoi. Her name is Alyssa. She is about 18ish with black hair, brown eyes, and is very pretty. I don't know where people get the information, but royals always have their ways.

"Hey cousin. You wants to see me?" I knock, then open the door. Lissa isn't alone. I should have known. Rose is there, staring at me the moment I enter, hoping I will acknowledge her. I hope this isn't another one of Lissa's attempts to get us to talk to each other. I do not feel like putting up with Rose's "let's be friends" crap. I refuse to look at her, but I can imagine the guilt in her eyes. Not my problem.

Lissa nods. "Yup. It's about something shocking. I don't know how to tell you this, but-."

"There's a Strigoi at Court," I interrupt. She seems shocked I would know about it already. "It's all over Court. The royals somehow already know about it," I clarify.

"Stupid royals," Lissa mutter, evoking a tiny grin from me. "This was supposed to be a secret!"

"Not anymore."

"How much do you know?" she inquires.

"Not much, only that there is a Strigoi and what she looks like. I didn't hear why she is here. Care to explain?"

Lissa launches into an explanation. Rose had probably already heard about this because she studys me the whole time instead of listening. I continue giving her my silent treatment and concentrates on what Lissa is telling me. Apparently the Strigoi is Lissa's cousin, proven through a blood test. Another Dragomir. The most shocking news is that she WANTED to be changed back into a Moroi. She even surrendered.

My mind is reeling with the unexpected. This defies a lot of things we are certain about Strigoi. They shouldn't be able to surrender. It goes against their nature. Strigoi are mindless killers who take pleasure in their power and immortality. Why would a Strigoi want to relinquish all that?

So now the dilemma is whether or not we should change her and who would take the consequences. Technically, we should absolutely change her. After all, she's a Dragomir. Right now Lissa is constantly in danger of being dethroned. She hasn't gotten the law changed yet, as it would take a couple more months. Jill is her only tie to the throne. This situation will be a bit better if there is another Dragomir, in case something, God forbid, happens to Jill. Also, this is her cousin, her only actual relative. Unlike Jill, Alyssa must have known other ancestors and Lissa is craving for more information. Lissa resents being one of the last in her line. She is relieved of some pressure, but there is still more that Jill, an illegitimate daughter, cannot remove. Finally, it would be inhumane to waste a life. But at what cost?

Sprit takes a great toll on all of us. Who would be the one to change Alyssa? Mark and Oksana are halfway across the world. We need to stop bothering them with our own issues, especially after all they've done for us. Mikhail and Sonya disappeared to who-knows-where to bond more. We don't know any other spirit users, so there's just Lissa and me left. Whoever one of us it is would suffer. There is no doubt that person would gain a lot more darkness and might hurt others, not to mention being driven one step closer to the brink insanity.

"It should be me." I decide.

"What? Why? I'm perfectly capable of doing it," Lissa argues. She hates to be thought of as weak.

"I know, but you're the queen. If the darkness takes over you the whole system will collapse. Besides, you've already changed D-Dimi," I stutters over his name. "Someone, so you already have a lot of darkness. It's my turn to try this out."

"True," she concedes, but not after thinking for a full five minuites. "But I don't know if we should even change her."

"Oh really? Like you don't already know you have to save her?" I teases.

Lissa rolls her eyes. "Hey do you want to go see her?"

"Sure. Might as well get to know whoever we're going through all this trouble for."

Lissa gets up and leaves. I made to follow her but Rose calles my name.

"Not now. I don't want to talk about it," I tell her icily without looking at her.

I am shocked when she remains silent. I am so sure she would put up a Rose-worthy argument.

We walks across Court towards the jail with a dozen guardians, including my own two, in tow.

"Can you please reassign my guardians? I don't need them when I'm inside Court," I growl.

"I know but I don't want you doing anything rash," Lissa reasons.

"What are you, my mother?" I grumble.

When we get within sight of Alyssa's cell, I freeze.

"What's wrong?"

"Use spirit and turn on your aura reading."

She complies. "Oh my..."

"God," I finishe for her.

**As always, REVIEW!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

**Author's Note: I meant to post this chapter sooner but I was messing around with it on my computer. And so of course the whole chapter just had to get deleted. I had just finished typing it! You cannot believe how frustrated I was. Grrr...**

**Anyways, thanks to my loyal readers for being so awesome and supportive and reviewing. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy. Just the plot and my characters.**

Adrian's POV:

The concept that Strigoi are soulless, uncompassionate monsters has been firmly ingrained into our minds. It is a fact that they relished in their kills and gave no thought for the innocent. We know they give in to the darkness and let it conquer them. They are beyond cruel and sadistic. Another fact is that they have no souls.

My specialty as a spirit user is my ability to see auras. They're hazy colors that encompass a body, giving away that person's true feelings. An aura indicates life, mortality, and a soul. Alyssa is a Strigoi, unless she was somehow born with chalky white skin and red that ringed her pupils. Then why the hell did she have an aura?

Lissa gaspes quietly beside me in awe. She can see t too—the faint, barely there aura that surrounded Alyssa. A million questions swirl around my mind in a jumbled, tangled mess. Does this mean she isn't immortal? What does this mean? And the essential question: how was this possible?

The color of her aura suddenly rivetes my attention. It is white, but with a dark and muddy blue tinge. Blue, I have seen, but never white. Do all "special" Strigoi have this color? What did it stand for? There is possibly no way I would ever know. Not unless I do some research. I immediately banish the thought. Adrian Ivashkov does not do work, well, not normally, and I'm not planning on doing it again anytime soon. Blue, I know, means fear. Their incapability to experience fear is another Strigoi trait we take for granted. We are proven wrong yet again. I have a sudden urge to comfort her, erase her fear and promise to always protect her. Whoa. Where did that come from? I don't even know her. I turn towards Lissa.

I can see a thousand questions fighting to exit from her mouth first. Lissa is as astounded as I was, maybe even more. Rose worriedly questions her, but she is ignored when Lissa instead faces me. Her curiosity and hunger for answers is almost tangible.

"Hey, don't interrogate me. I'm not God," I joke. "I don't know any more about her than you do." Wow. Since when do I use such lame jokes?

Lissa rolls her eyes, wondering aloud," I know, but still. I can't believe it. How does she have an aura? Has this happened before and hasn't been documented?"

"'She' is right here. I can hear you," a clear voice rings out. I can't help my shiver. Her voice was beyond creepy; it held the typical Strigoi coldness, promising pain and cruelty, woven with unspoken threats. Talk about scary.

Guilt showers over me and Lissa looks sheepish besides me. Alyssa might be a monster, but accidentally or not, that didn't mean we can treat her snidely.

For the first time, I notice her appearance, not in the checking-her-out way, because that would be just plain wrong since she is a Strigoi for God's sake, but in the I-just-want-to-see-what-you-look-like way. Regardless of the cruel beauty in her Strigoi appearance, she is pretty with innocent looking features, resembling an angel more than a devil. Long, midnight black hair cascades down her back, like a waterfall. Her slim and lean body indicates her past life as a Moroi. As proof of her heritage, she peers at us with the same green eyes as Lissa's, only hers much lighter.

It is the haunted look in them that catches me off guard. Her eyes expresses all the pain and sadness I bet she has never truly revealed to anyone. She isn't pretending to want to change. No, this isn't a hoax. There is no actor in the world who could portray that much regret. Our eyes lock for what seemed like an eternity, but is in reality really only a couple seconds long. Something in her shifts. A guardian-worthy mask appears and obscures her expressions, but I can still see the trace of anguish. Again I feel a strange longing to run to her and hug her and erase that distressed glint in her eyes. I must be hallucinating. It's been an aberrant day for me.

"My apologies. You're Alyssa Tiffany Abigail Dragomir, right? I'm Vasilissa Dragomir, that's Rose Hathaway, and this is Adrian. Would you mind tellin—" Lissa is rudely interrupted by Rose. I almost laugh at Rose's typical behavior before reminding myself of the oath I took.

"So Alyssa. It's not everyday that we get a suicidal Strigoi popping up at Court. Why did you do what you did?" Rose questioned, no, demanded.

Alyssa winces when Lissa calls out her whole name. I swear I have heard her mutter, "Don't know what Mom was thinking…" I openly grin, earning some strange looks. The suicidal part Rose mentions didn't seem to faze her. In fact, Alyssa looks like she couldn't care less. I wish I knew what she is thinking. "Call me Aly. Please. Umm. Well I'm not like any other Strigoi," Aly begins. "I mean, in the beginning I was. I killed many innocents," she cringes, and I felt sympathy for her. "I've lived 313 years. Throughout those three centuries I changed. By now, I can see beauty. I see the amazing colors in a rainbow, the prettiness of a flower in full bloom, and even the beauty of Adrian's green eyes." My eyes widens of their own accord. Have I really made that big of an impression? Some inner part of me cheers at both how she remembers my name and her compliment. "I still have the Strigoi part of me, and it kills me every day. You don't know what it's like to be trapped in your own body with a monster and have to resist the temptation and easily succumb to evil. That's why I need your help. I can't live like this. I can't fight the monster for much longer. I don't want to be suicidal, but if you don't change me, then I'll find some other way to change."

The truthfulness in her voice affects everybody. I don't have to check her aura to know she wasn't lying. Her pain is evident not only in her aura, or her eyes, but also in her speech. I can tell the pleasure she got from seeing the everyday beauty we overlook by the way her entire face lit up while describing it.

Lissa accepts her words, considering them carefully. She motions for us to exit the jail, "Visiting hour is over. We need to discuss some things. You will be informed of our decision shortly."

Lissa leaves, trailed by her entourage of guardians. I turn to leave, but cannot resist one last glance over my shoulder, staring into green eyes that follows me long after my exit.

Once outside, the million dollar is sprung. "Who's going to change her?"

"Me," I roll my eyes, injecting a dose of duh.

Lissa opens her mouth about to set off on what I am sure is a very long lecture. I look at her with a pointed look and a raised eyebrow. "We can't have an insane queen. Now that would be very bad." Rose nods with me. I guess she wants to make up for how she mistreated me. Not a chance. I promised myself something, and I will live up to that promise.

"Fine. Get to know her a bit first. I'll help you with charming the stake."

"Fine."

We make plans to get together before Lissa is whisked off on another Council meeting I am very glad I do not have to attend. In her absence, I am left with a lot to mull over.

To murder not one, but a lot, and live with yourself. That must've been hell, part of the reason behind what I saw in her eyes. But it isn't the complete reason. She purposely left something out, and I intend to find out why and what it is. Aly intruiges me.

I would be lying if I say I didn't want to see her again.

**Review! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

**Author's Note: Reviews appreciated. Advice also appreciated. :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, only this plot and the characters I created, which cannot be used without my written permission. **

Let me tell you something. Being in jail sucks. That's a no brainer, but I just want to emphasize my point. There's nothing to do. Zero. Zilch. The only choice you have is to lie down on your who-knows-what-it's-infested-by cot and count the dirty stains around you. Then you recount them. Because there's nothing else to do. Unless you want to relive memories of you murdering innocents and hear their incessant screams reverberate in your mind, their pleading for you to stop their torment—.

Shut up, I tell myself. Oh no. I'm talking to myself. Does that mean I'm officially crazy? Or does that mean I'm still sane if I'm questioning my sanity?

Stop. Concentrate on other things. I probably have only been in this cell for a few hours, but it feels like years. Each second passes painfully slow. Thankfully the asshole guardians stopped bothering me. They're somewhere else in this building. But I know this rivalry between us isn't over yet, nor is this a truce. A temporary one, perhaps. The worst isn't over yet.

* * *

I hear their footsteps long before I see them. They enter, one by one, a fleet of guardians surrounding two Moroi. I am immediately alert, and confused. Why are there so many guardians? Are they here to question me? How? By torture, the method I've both seen and used countless times? Pain, I am not worried about. It is the other possibility that causes fear to reside within me. To most people, the past is the past, no use crying over spilt milk, but not to me. What had I done for these people to be so terrified of me? I'm truly sorry, even though I know it's never going to be enough to compensate for my actions.

While I am staring at the two Moroi, they are staring back at me. Or rather, through me. The brown haired one scrunches his forehead, as if I am a mind-boggling puzzle he had yet to solve. I study him, then come to the realization that he is actually kind of cute. More than cute. He's hot. I could tell he is a carefree soul, without many, if any, worries in this world. I am envious of him. Slightly messy, stylishly mussed hair frames his high cheekbones. He has the most beautiful emerald green eyes I have ever seen. His emotions are obscured within them, as are his thoughts, but I catch a fleeting glimpse of pain. They're are so gorgeous one could easily get lost in their depth. For some strange reason I felt a flutter within me.

I am so immersed in observing him that I didn't hear what he tells the female Moroi. She gasps, drawing my attention to her. Some part of me is reluctant to look away from his mesmerizing eyes, but I shake that weirdness off. She looks at me in very much the same way he had and I squirmed under the intensity of her jade green eyes. What catches my eye is actually the shape of her eyes. It's just like mine. And with that similarity, I notice more. She has almost the exact nose and mouth as me. Heck, we were about the same height. Dang. She could pass off as my sister, if not for our different colored hair.

When she turns towards the male Moroi, curiosity obvious on her face, they have a short conversation referring to me as "she". I am irritated, especially by the way they talk as if I'm not present. I speak my mind.

The brown haired one looks at me, for real this time. His eyes roamed over by body. If I could have blushed, then I would've. My own reaction surprises me. A strange expression crosses his face. I couldn't read what it meant, but a tiny part of me is worried about what he thinks of me. I mentally chastise myself then wipe all emotions off my face.

The girl Moroi speaks to me, introducing them. Ugh. I hate it when people say my full name, not that a lot of people do. I don't know what Mom was thinking of when she named me a name that's just so… so… girly. I see Adrian smiling and I am embarrassed. Had I really said that out loud? Trying to obscure what slipped out, I launch into a speech about myself and my current predicament. I honestly didn't mean to speak so much, and I especially didn't mean to mention Adrian's beautiful eyes, but the words tumbled out of my mouth. One day, I'm going to be the first to die of embarrassment.

When they left, after one last glimpse from Adrian that was burned into my mind, I was left to reflect upon my words. Stupid, stupid. He probably thinks I'm a weirdo if he doesn't already. The rational part of me wonders why I care so much of what he thought. For that, I have no answer.

I did not receive any food, nor any blood, which confused me. I am a killer, but I thought Moroi would be more hospital than that. Maybe they forgot, or my adversary guards "forgot". Either way I didn't care. I don't deserve food, and I'm hungry, not yet. Instead I am satisfied with the few minutes I had with Adrian. There is something about him, something I've never experienced around anyone. It's a nearly forgotten feeling I've never felt since I've been turned. Call mental for being so attached to a stranger, but I with him, I feel safe.

I wish I could see Adrian again.

**Again, please review. I would love you. :D (It rhymes! lol)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:**

**Author's Note: Sorry I haven't updated in so long. I've been really busy with summer homework. :( High school is already not as awesome as I thought it would be. Thanks for all the reviews, favorites, alerts, etc. Also, thank _YOU_ for reading. :)**

**Pineapples2daMAX: I apologize for it's shortness. Before I posted the story, I didn't know it would be that short. I will try to write longer. **

**Shout-out to my beta reader monaxxheart. Thank you for all your suggestions. :DDD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy. **

I scream, hands flying up into position for defense. Spinning around, my eyes lock onto his and my heart leaps into my throat. It is _him_.

Without a clock, time had dragged on and I was sure he would never come again. Why should he?

His warm laugh fills up the cell. My lips twitch in response. How can any noise possibly be so beautiful? I long to close my eyes and drown in that sound, yet I resist. He is seemingly harmless, but years of survival taught me better on turning by back from a potential enemy. You could never know; appearances can be deceiving.

I watch him warily, but my anger dominates and turns it into a glare. He keeps laughing at my response to him scaring me. It's infuriating me to no end. I can't believe I made such a careless mistake on my part to not be alert. He, a Moroi, had been able to sneak up on me, a Strigoi. In the outside world, I would've lost my life. Besides, when did I get so jumpy?

If looks could kill, he'd be dead by now. Still, he seems unperturbed, merely amused by me.

_Our second encounter is going just as smoothly as I imagined_, I think sarcastically. Even if a row of bars are separating us, I can't believe he's here. Adrian.

He looks just as gorgeous as the first time I saw him, maybe even more. His purposely messed hair somehow seems fitting for him. His emerald green eyes are filling up with tears. For a moment I am bewildered, thinking he was crying. Then I realize it's from laughter. It's been a while since I've seen someone laugh that hard, especially at my expense.

The clothes he wear hint at a designer origin. I do not know nor care what brand it is, for I have long since given up on fashion. It is simply not needed in my world. I have to admit, he is handsome in them. He probably looks handsome in anything. He seems like that kind of person.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist," he says after his laughing fit finally ends.

"I can tell," I return with another glare.

"Hey, it was funny! No, hilarious. You should've seen your…" Adrian trails off when he takes in my dark expression. "Chill out. Based on your scream, you sure you're a Strigoi?" His final attempt to make me crack.

I mentally roll my eyes, after scolding myself yet again on my lack of observation. How could I have not heard him?

"Why are you here?" I go for the bunt method, all the while searching for signs of incoming danger. And looking for a way to give him payback for his prank.

He doesn't notice. "Hey, ease up. I'm the one who will change you. Shouldn't you show me some courtesy?"

Cocky bastard. He's right. I relent grudgingly. Cranking up the pleasantry, I tell him, "Sorry. I appreciate you doing so much for me."

Adrian grins, extending one hand thorough the bars. "How about we start over and introduce ourselves? I'm Adrian."

After a short hesitation, I shake his hand. "Aly."

"Pleased to meet you Tiffany."

I grit my teeth, refusing to allow him the satisfaction of seeing me grimace. "Don't call me that."

"Why? Isn't it your name?" he smirks slightly.

Why you miserable little… If there weren't any bars between us, and I wasn't so weak from hunger, I wouldn't put it past myself to hurt him. Yes, the bastardly guardians still haven't provided me any food. I'm still fine though, for now.

"Why are you here?" I ask yet again. Did he not hear me the first time?

" To get to know you better." His answer surprises me. Nonetheless, I can tell he's being truthful. I had been expecting something different, like perhaps to change me already.

"What's the point?" I am annoyed. "Can't you just change me and get on with it?" My hunger is driving me insane, causing me to be extremely irritable.

"Feisty," Adrian comments, to which I roll my eyes at. "I should at least get to know who I am sacrificing so much for."

True. "I mean, in the nicest way possible, why aren't you changing me already? What's with the wait?" I honestly see no reason to put this off. The sooner the better.

"Well, you may or may not know, but this whole change-a-Strigoi thing isn't very common. The previous couple times were spur of the moment ideas. This would be the first time being recorded and a lot of people want to be witnesses. Some of those people are flying in in a couple of days."

"Oh." I say for lack of a better response. I am seriously not thrilled. Now there would be people watching me like the circus freak I am. Bummer.

"Yup. Bummer."

Although it wasn't a very funny comment, I laughed. It was exactly what I was thinking.

Adrian fakes a surprised face.

I look at him curiously. "What?"

"You can laugh? I thought you were one of those people who were always so serious."

For some reason, that bugged me. I didn't want him to think of me that way. Being a Strigoi didn't allow you to laugh and joke around all day. Our undead dead lives were constantly at risk and we cannot afford to lose concentration like that. I did not tell him

I tried to change the conversation. "Hey, judge people after you get to know them. You don't even know my favorite color."

He seems glad for my cooperation. "Fine. What is your favorite color?"

"Blue. What's yours?"

"Can't you tell? Green. Like the eyes you think are so beautiful."

My face almost manages to blush. He remembered? I am so embarrassed for my outburst the other day.

"Umm…" Real classy, Aly.

He tries—and fails—to hide a grin. "So what kind of person are you?"

I think. "You mean besides being a vampire Strigoi? I guess I'm… hmm… I like music." I do not know who I am. I've never given much thought to it. I consider myself a murderer, but that is not something I want to say to Adrian. "Who are you?"

Adrian mock gasps. "You mean you haven't heard of me? I'm an Ivashkov."

I frown. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Achem. A partyboy?"

Strange. "A player?" He grimaces, but does not deny it. Huh. I mentally make this trait the first piece of the mental puzzle I symbolize as him. "But you don't like the label." I say this as a fact.

"I can't help what others think of me. Wait—scratch that. I can. But I've changed." Adrian seems almost desperate for me to believe him.

"I know how that feels. You think I like what people think of me just because I'm Strigoi? Just because ninety nine point nine nine nine percent of the rest of them are bloodthirsty monsters doesn't mean I am. Anymore." I add.

He is at a loss of what to say. Silence hangs between us. It makes me uncomfortable and I ponder how to break it.

"Why don't you sit down?" Our whole conversation has been said standing up. He must feel tired.

"I will if you will."

We sit, me behind bars and him on the other side.

"Aren't your clothes designer? Shouldn't you treat them better than that?" I suddenly wonder.

"It doesn't matter. I can always buy new ones."

Hmm… a rich boy. I tell him as much and am rewarded with a quick grin. Another piece is added to the puzzle.

He asks another question. "How come you don't know about the Ivashkov reputation? What's it like to be a Strigoi?"

"Curious much? I've stayed away from populated places in case I… slip. Besides, the Ivashkov peope I knew don't have the reputations you say they have. They were kind and caring." I leave out his second question. There's nothing I'd rather avoid then tell him about all the horrors I've caused. I do not wish him to think badly of me.

Adrian seems to understand my reluctance to answer it and drops the question. I am grateful. "Ouch. So I must seem like one of those players who go through many girlfriends to you, don't I?"

"Not really. 'Player' and 'party boy' are on my list about you, but I'm still trying to figure you out. There's more than that to you."

He is surprised by my response. I feel bad for him. Most people have stereotyped him as they do me. I doubt many give him a second opinion. I understand how he feels.

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

I believe hours fly by, even though it seems like minutes. He asks me questions, and I answer, also repeating his questions back. I have added more pieces. He is also passionate about art, caring, obviously fun and outgoing, but also has a side he doesn't let others see. Of course, there's an infuriating piece to him. One second he makes me laugh, the next I want to murder him. Adrian seems to hold me, and probably, others, at arm's length. I wonder why.

We talk until he has to leave, for which I am extremely sad. Adrian promises me to visit soon and I believe him. Strange, for I cannot remember the last time I trusted anyone. Promises can be broken, but I don't think this one will be.

I do not even remember my hunger until I am left in his absence. Hopefully, the guardians will change their minds. I can maybe last a few more days, but after that, I do not even want to think about the consequences.

**Tell me truthfully. Do you like this story? Don't worry, the good parts are coming. Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: I'm really sorry for not updating in such a long time. Life gets in the way of things. I apologize for the slowness of the plot. I'm still developing my writing style. Just bear with me please. Interesting things are coming up.**

**A change has been made. Aly has black hair and pale green eyes. **

I can feel it pacing like a beast in the back of my mind. As each agonizingly slow second passes, it becomes more impatient, untamable, and vicious. The thirst is nearly unbearable now. Pretty it will consume me.

It is begging me to feed. Truth be told I want to, so badly. All I have to do is lure one of the guardians outside the cell closer. Then I'm free to grab him closer and sink my teeth into his deliciously warm, dripping neck. I will be able to taste the richness of the heady bloo—.

What am I thinking? With a start, I shake free of the stupor and find myself already up at the bars, mouth open, poised to call out for a guardian.

I sit back down and tuck my head into my hands. That was a close call. Of course, none of the guardians would be stupid enough to come closer. All my plan would result in is a reason for them to stake me.

"That was stupid", I mutter to myself. The beast butts in and replies, "Yes it was a stupid plan. Devise a new one. Perhaps…"

Another downer of being a Strigoi trapped in jail is that there are no distractions from your own thoughts. I wrenched my mind free from the images of bloodshed and instead counted the number of bricks on my wall.

I understand why they won't give me any blood. That might result in suicide on their part. Giving me blood would be like providing a murderer with a gun.

I laugh bitterly. I am a murderer. Maybe I should just let them kill me know. What's the point of living when all those I've killed aren't?

I am interrupted from my musings when I hear footsteps. It's him again. I can tell from the rhythm of his walk.

Adrian appears in sight in yet another designer outfit and with his hair mussed, looking like he just woke up. I'm willing to bet he spent half an hour this morning carefully styling it. I laugh internally.

"Don't you look…" he begins.

"Tired? Thirsty? Yeah I am," I snap. Ugh the thirst is making me much irritable lately. "Sorry," I add, instantly regretting my harsh tone.

His eyes had widened, but now he has recovered. Flashing me yet another smile he says, "It's okay. Sucks, doesn't it?" He refers to my lack of blood.

"Can we please not talk about that?"

Adrian holds up his hands in surrender. "Just so you know you're getting out of here tomorrow."

"Thank god," I tell him. "How long have I been in here?"

"A week."

"It feels like a lifetime."

"I can imagine."

I hesitate, then say, "How's the outside world?"

He contemplates my question. I know he understands what I'm asking. "It's probably a lot different now than it was then. Do you remember the blonde haired girl who came in with me a couple of days ago?"

"The one that's probably my niece?"

"It sounds weird when you think about it like that, but yeah. She's now the vampire queen." His eyes study my face for a reaction.

I feel astonished. "Wow. That's impressive. Out of all the Dragomirs she is chosen. How old is she?"

He frowns. "18. Wait, you don't know?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Know what?"

"She's one of the last Dragomirs."

That has me shocked. "What?!"

Adrian proceeds to describe the unfortunate situation where her only tie to the throne is through her illegitimate sister, Jill. I haven't been this shocked for a long time.

Once I've recovered my ability to speak I tell him, "So this is why she wants me alive. To take some pressure off both of them."

He looks uncomfortable. "Well, sorta. But that's only part of the reason. She's one of the kindest people I know. She wouldn't want anyone killed if they can be saved."

Some emotion flits through my chest. Sadness, I believe. "I can't believe there's only three Dragomirs. There used to be hundreds of us."

He looks at me with a strange look in his eye. "Things have changed since three hundred years ago."

I sigh. "What else is new?"

This develops into a very long conversation. I have to admit, things really are different now. Being away from civilization secluded me from any news, including the brutal murder of the last queen.

When he bids me good night, I am surprised to find myself disappointed by his departure. I decide it's because he was my distraction from the thirst, for I cannot fathom any other reason. As my mind thinks of the thirst I have been suppressing, it awakens with renewed vigor.

I cannot help but give in to a whole night of fantasizing about blood.

* * *

Blood. The lack of it is driving me crazy. I cannot form any rational thoughts the next morning. Nothing but the brilliant redness of the liquid and the life it provides. Pouring out in a thick stream as I rip open yet another body.

Delicious.

My throat burns.

The beast cannot be contained.

Through my lustful haze I am only faintly aware of my ragged breathing.

And someone's approaching footsteps. Somewhere in my mind it sounds familiar, but that isn't what holds my attention.

I smell blood.

I want it.

**Reviews are always appreciated.** :)


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